Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
