Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize