sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i would punch a child for taco bell
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
