Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so explain again why im purple
no
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
