On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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