My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
