We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
