I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
