Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
