I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
