So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
