Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
