drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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