Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
