Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
