Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
