Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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