i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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