CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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