My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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