I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
