O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
