I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
