omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
