It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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