You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
