She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize