My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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