Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
do herpes really smell.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize