What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
