i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize