Are we in a gay sports bar?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
