if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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