The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We need to get me chipped asap
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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