Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
