You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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