i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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