so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
