I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
