he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
