you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just google imaged poop.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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