i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
