You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Pooping to opera.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
