RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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