she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Girls should come with a carfax report
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
