The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
