We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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