your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
