He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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