so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
