Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
