I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
