hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
