yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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