You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
