this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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