yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize