you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
