Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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