he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
