we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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