On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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